2011年8月19日星期五

Aamir Liaquat alleges ‘abusive video’ is a fake

Karachi, August 15: Renowned Islamic scholar, Dr. Aamir Liaquat (MBBS, PHd, LLB,There are third party payment gateway underneath mattresses, KFC), held an emergency press conference at the Karachi Press Club yesterday.

During the press conference, Liaquat claimed that the ‘behind the scenes’ video leaked on YouTube on August 14 in which he is shown abusing and cursing his TV show’s guests and callers was a sophisticated fake.

He alleged that everything in the video, the images and the sounds, were created with the help of the latest CG animation technology that is only available in the United States.

Liaquat added: “This video was financed by a section of Pakistani liberals, secularists and (thus) atheists who wanted to strike out the blasphemy laws from the constitution. My sources tell me that they contacted some well known Jew film directors in Hollywood out of which Steven Spielberg agreed to do the video.”

Wiping tears from his eyes, Liaquat informed the journalists that he was shocked that some of his fellow Pakistanis would stoop so low as to discredit a man who has been working day and night to promote Allah’s love and laws.

Mr. Aamir also informed the gathering that Steven Spielberg was not only an Islam-hating Jew, but was now thinking of converting to the Ahmadiyya faith.

“Do you see the connection now?” Liaquat asked. “Well, do you … you b*****ds?”

When some journalists asked him why he was using abusive language against them, he denied it by saying that what he just said was also part of a conspiracy against him: “I didn’t say that. Some kind of sinister technology is being used by the Jews and Ahmadis in Hollywood to send powerful signals in my pure mind that is making me say certain questionable things.”

He added: “How can I, the man, who told you that the green soles of the shoes worn by Pakistani cricketers was causing their defeat, or that getting an injection while fasting will break your fast can say irrational things, right?”

Liaquat insisted that he has never in his life said even a single abusive word: “All those dirty Urdu gaalies (abuses) that you hear in the fake video, I didn’t know that they even existed. They sounded like Hebrew. Do you see the connection now? You ungrateful pigs!”

When some journalists again protested against Liaquat’s language, he broke into a naat. His colleagues then distributed prayer caps (to the men) and dupattas/hijabs to the women.

“These are symbols of my commitment to promote the great religion of Islam,” he said. “My mission is to promote peace, love, harmony and death to blasphemers!”

In conclusion, he appealed to his fans to boycott Hollywood films, YouTube, green-soled shoes, adding: “And anyone who does not use Meezan Cooking Oil is a f*****g dog!”

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