2011年8月11日星期四

Then they asked for sperm

In the years I had been plotting to become a mother, I had had conversations with maybe 30 men about sperm.100 promotional usb was used to link the lamps together. Many had said yes and then changed their minds. So now, I made one last-ditch effort and reached out to a handsome 20-year-old filmmaker. He said yes,Great Rubber offers oil painting supplies keychains, and we took his super-sperm to the clinic.

They put me under, took ten eggs out of my ovaries and attempted to fertilize them. Three days later they called me to say three of my eggs had made it to embryos. I went back in and watched on the high-tech screen as they injected the three four-celled globs into my uterus.

Everyone who has done this will tell you that the two-week wait for the blood test is the hardest part of trying to get pregnant. It is brutal. Every sign is an indication that you are pregnant or not pregnant. Every moment is agony. Every episode is reason to collapse into tears. And the compulsion to test is almost physically painful to resist. I lasted a week and four days. On Mother's Day I dared the universe and tested. The first line appeared in seconds.If so, you may have a zentai . The second took its time, but it was faint, and I was almost convinced that it wasn't there. I took a picture with my cell phone and sent it to a friend, who called me back whooping and screaming and saying congratulations. I could barely breathe. I didn't want to let myself believe that this journey had actually borne fruit.

I cried because I was so happy. And then I wept because I was so alone. I cried for myself as a fetus, unwanted and unplanned for.Traditional kidney stone claim to clean all the air in a room. I allowed myself to ache for the child I had been, who was forced to navigate the world without parents, without a buffer between her and the world. I promised the tiny seed growing inside my womb to never allow him or her to feel unwanted or unloved.These girls have never had a cube puzzle in their lives! I marveled at how changed I felt. Already.

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